OH, SHIT! It’s Friday the 13th AND October!
A very special day indeed. We had our homage to a certain camp goer in ESW A1… Stabby Steve. To celebrate the true meaning of the day, I will be taking my wife to a cool revival theater here in SoCal called The Frida to see JASON X… hahaha, a hilariously bad movie. BUT if you’re high enough, it’s very, very good. I love seeing old movies in the theater… it really does just hit differently. Nothing is like going to the actual cinema and the very big screen.
Maybe it’s hardwired into me from so much of my youth spent at the movies, but man, I love it. Weird, I seem to be talking about movies in a lot of these updates… whatever, they actually have a marathon going from 4pm to 4am of horror movies next week. I’ll be sure to let you know how it was… 12 hours straight… dream come true.
So, let’s look at some more of the cards that the design team has finally had the chance to start laying out for printing!
Oh, and how about those Satan Cards! AMAZING!!!
WOW, very cool, right? Seeing all the art and work come together is unreal. You are going to be amazed by this game. I will post more of these each week… there is plenty to see.
Also, holy hell, I really lost my mind with the “adult” nature of this one. I guess “Satan made me do it” but these are pretty out there… might dial it back a bit for ESW A4.
SO I had the request to post the lyrics to the songs I did. Makes sense… it’s hard on some of those to figure out what’s being said so let’s do a couple:
Killgore gonna Murder’Fist ya
Killgore
Killgore
Killgore gonna murder fist ya
Chainsaw in the guts tearing ass to your nuts
Got a chainsaw hand, swinging that badass killing machine
Killgore grinding motherfucker making a motherfucking scene
Bitch ass punks eating shit and dying left and right
They got no time to live feel the MURDERFIST might
Killgore
Killgore
Killgore gonna murder fist ya
Chainsaw in the guts tearing ass to your nuts
Wizards killing wizard it’s show of deadly powers
Kilgore’s murder cock blasting that super nova showers
Fuck the lily livered limp wand pussies
Gonna stomp those scrawny dick ass wussies
Killgore
Killgore
Killgore gonna murder fist ya
Chainsaw in the guts tearing ass to your nuts
Gangs a’ cunts gonna squirt that sticky snatch juice
Kilgore don’t care pound those pussies till they get loose
Never stop killing is his bad ass motto
Final thing you hear, before your dead ass is blotto
Killgore
Killgore
Killgore gonna murder fist ya
Chainsaw in the guts tearing ass to your nuts
Blood and guts sprayen all the fucken carnage
Kilgore rip off yer nads stuff ‘em in the garbage
Motherfuckers be shaking sobbing an crying
Grim Reaper coming baby, its time to be dying
Killgore
Killgore
Killgore gonna murder fist ya
Chainsaw in the guts tearing ass to your nuts
Buzzy the chainsaws Kilgore psychotic murder buddy
Dance with this motherfucker your gonna get bloody
God didn’t give Kilgore no love, no mercy no pitty
Pull your head off the corpse blasting ass all shitty
Killgore
Killgore
Killgore gonna murder fist ya
Chainsaw in the guts tearing ass to your nuts
HE GONNA FUCK YOU AS YOUR DYING
FUCK YOUR WIFE AS SHE CRYING
KIDS SAY “ITS COOL” …THEIR LYING
KICK YER DOG SEND IT FLYING
KILGORE MURDERFIST IS THE FISTING MOTHERFUCKER, KING OF DEATH, REIGN OF CARNAGE
KILGORE MURDERFIST IS THE FISTING MOTHERFUCKER, KING OF DEATH, REIGN OF CARNAGE
KILGORE MURDERFIST IS THE FISTING MOTHERFUCKER, KING OF DEATH, REIGN OF CARNAGE
HERE IS A LINK TO THE SONG: https://on.soundcloud.com/JxrJD
And another one…
PARTY AT THE END OF TIME
King Spellslamma Wamma Lamma Damn
Open that mouth I’m about to cram
ARCANE COSMIC MAGIC DEATH
EXPLODING FISTS OF DOOM
FIREY DRAGON BREATH
Oh Krazztar ya bazstard flip arounds
And prepare to unleash the hounds
OF DEMONIC HOWLING RAGE
BLAZING PSYCHO BOOM
THE APOCALYPSE AGE
Weirdo Wando get it Down Get it on tho
Shooting da strong dopey ropey strands-O
JIZZIN ICY MYSTIC HELL
CRAZY DEMON WOMB
CATACLYSMIC MURDER SPELL
It’s a party down at the end of time
Its party out of the tomb we climb
Its Party hard till infinites chime
Skullzor’s zick zack acid attack
Flip the bird no takin it back
FUCK YO MOUTH
FUCK YO FACE
FUCK OFF ALL THE WAY TO OUT’A’SPACE
Cooch-e cooch-e that Ticklebottom
Feys got your nuts, that’s whos gottem
GREASE THAT HOLE
GRAB THE POLE
SHOOTIN GOOS THE ULTIMATE GOAL
Killgore rockin dat murder fist
How he goona kill lets check dat list
HEAD TORN OF SHIT DOWN THE NECK
EXTRA EVIL, WHAT’D YA’ EXPECT
CHAINSAWED GUTS? YA THAT’S A CHECK
It’s a party down at the end of time
Its party out of the tomb we climb
Its Party hard till infinites chime
Ballz of Cthulhu droppin dem nutz
Eldritch horror’s be Yog-Shoggon them slutz
OUT OF THE COSMOS AND OUT TIME
10 BILLION TENTICLES
ROCKIN A NON-EUCLIDIAN SEX CRIME
Gorzo so Horny Gorzo so Wicked
fan-fuckingtastic-friends addicted
GET ON THE PIPE
SMOKE THAT ROCK
COME ON EVERYBUDY N’MOUNT MY JOCK
It’s a party down at the end of time
Its party out of the tomb we climb
Its Party hard till infinites chime
Last but not least is you Battle Wizards
Icey cold blood like some goddamn lizards
YA ROCK THE MAGIC
YA ROCK THE SPELL
AND IN THE END YA GOIN ROCK THAT ASS STRAIGHT TO HELL!
AND a link to the song: https://on.soundcloud.com/buet7
Hope you enjoyed all that, and hope you have a happy and stabby Friday the 13th!
As always, I love you very much!
-cory
I can safely assume you were only a few votes behind old Bobby Zimmerman for that Nobel Prize in Literature back in ‘16.
A case of highway robbery if there ever was one.
Always look forward to your Friday posts. Have a great weekend!
Do you ever wish you went with a more “Epic Spell Wars” cardback for the cards or do you think the Cryptozoic cardback was the correct move? And in the same vein, did you expect the Epic Spell Wars of the Battle Wizard Annihilageddon name to reach this level of success or were you prepared for it to be a one and done thing?
great questions, I thinks its ok with the CZE card back, I sort of like that all those games with all those different IP live in one place, its fun…
I wanted to expand the ESW universe into other games, I love the world I built and wanted to do more stuff, the first thing we started on was actually an RPG we have tons of work done on it, then we tried a TCG (also tons of work done), then we tried the Deckbuilder and it was just a magic, seriously it came together and we where blown away how fun this version was…
I knew it would work, and I had always had in mind doing a bunch of them, I think it has LOTS of room to grow… the creative actual holds back the amazing design but I don’t care its a labor of love 🙂
Any chance you’d release other types of games in the ESW franchise other than spell crafting games and the deck builders?
I for one would be quite happy to recieve a few movie recommendations on each Friday write up 😂 I’ve seen Jason X and it was OK for what it is hahaha. I went to the movies to see Saw X the other week. Same thing, you know what you’re getting.
If you want a suggestion of a good new movie then I’d sincerely suggest Talk To Me. Pretty decent indy movie Australia. Some of my favourite horrors are the likes of Event Horizon (God Tier movie) , The Ruins, It Lives, The House of 1000 Corpses and The Evil Dead. If you have some time for some awesomely crass stuff then check out Brain Dead by Peter Jackson, glorious anarchy and gore the likes of Epic Spell Wars.
I recommended that movie last week!!! so yes, I agree its amazing 🙂
the rest of your picks are A+ in my book, Event Horizon is awesome, I’m sure you’ve seen In the Mouth of Madness, another Sam Neil classic (and Carpenter being the god he is)
if not see it!! 🙂
I’ve not seen on the mouth of madness but just scrolling through a few stills on Google images is all I needed to decide to watch this tomorrow. The body horror of it reminds me of scenes from Drakon and an old movie called The Church.
I don’t think a lot of the horror movies they bring out now are anywhere near as good as the classics… I’d happily rewatch The Stuff over any of the Paranormal Activity clones.
Keep the recommendations coming they’re appreciated haha. Seems you’ve watched quite a bit too but if you haven’t seen it and it’s a b movie so there’s less chance the I’d happily recommend the black horror comedy Poultrygeist: Night Of The Chicken Dead 😂👍
Good Pussy, Bad Kitty is worded quite differently than most other attacks. Is this so it can’t be redirected?
good catch, the real goal was to create a conversation before you defend, like “are you going to draw a card” …”yes” ok, I don’t defend, hahahah, “take 10 fucker” …rage table flip… standard ESW stuff 🙂
this card has been pretty fun in play testing